Uncertainty aside, I am so happy with my life right now. I have the opportunity to attend an incredible university and take classes that stretch me and bring meaning to my life and goals. I absolutely love my classes, and I love the learning process. My life is richer. My heart is happy. I am completely content with where I am academically, and who I am intellectually.
One thing that tells me that I really am on the right track though, is that I don't feel like everyone in my classes is smarter than me anymore. I am just as competent, and I know what I'm doing. I am learning, and applying my knowledge. I am a powerful human being.
I like that phrase a lot. I have spent over 6 months cumulatively, standing on the street in downtown Portland, telling people that very phrase. I am a powerful human being, and so are they. They can make anything happen if they set their mind to it. That's who we are. That's the world we live in. I don't think we give ourselves enough credit. When we don't think we can accomplish great things, we don't. Its that simple. When we believe in our abilities and give ourselves credit, we have power.
A cool thing that happened this summer as we were driving home from a family outing. My sister and brother and I were in the car with our parents and both of their spouses, and we got on the subject of my sister and brother-in-law's new business they are planning to open soon. We began discussing the best location for the business, and things like that. With such a wide range of people in the car, we had a lot of differing perspectives. Dad has owned a small business for nearly 20 years, so he knows about being an entrepreneur just from his own experiences. Richard is studying entrepreneurship and business in college, so he has that baseline. Marissa knows all about the products they want to create. I have a background in PR and Marketing because of my studies, and Tayler has had similar experiences to me. Many of us have worked in a sales capacity, so we know what gets people to buy things. Because of all of our experiences and knowledge, we were able to come up with a large amount of ideas for them. Then we started talking about Dad's Vet hospital, and his need for more business. We were able to take the same principles and experiences and apply them to a completely different business and give him some ideas for re-vamping his marketing practices. It was awesome to be able to contribute to the conversation and give actual input that was helpful and creative, and even though I am a good 30+ years younger than Dad, he still valued my knowledge and skills.
It seems kind of silly, it was just a conversation we had on a long drive home, but for me it kind of flipped a switch. Even though I'm still learning, and I'm definitely nowhere near being a professional yet, I am becoming competent. The skills I am gaining have the potential to help people. I can translate the things I have learned in the classroom, into making it possible for other people to be successful.
I am a powerful human being. It strengthens my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, because I know that there is a plan for my life. The skills and experiences I am gaining have a purpose.
Looking back on the defining moments of my life, I can see how my decisions led me to certain opportunities. I can see how things that I thought had no significance at the time, actually carried a lot of weight for what happened later. I can see that my experiences have definitely set me on this path. I have been opened up to opportunities that are exactly what I need at that time in my life. They have come as answers to the prayers that I have earnestly prayed, and to the prayers I have been afraid to pray.
For example, I left Portland this summer, feeling very bittersweet. I love my time in the city, bugging strangers to help children in need. It is one of those jobs that is so incredibly hard that you come home every day physically and mentally exhausted. But it's one of those experiences in my life that has made me feel so much richer, not monetarily, but culturally, intellectually, as a human being and as an activist. The world is a scary place. But it's easy to find beauty if you look for it. Closing that chapter in my life is hard. I grew so much and learned so much from having that experience. I learned how to love people, and I made hundreds of new friends. I helped people to have the opportunity to live their lives to the fullest potential- and I'm not just talking about the kids that got sponsored because of me.
When I got back to Provo, I felt discontented. I don't think I'll be living in Portland again for a long time, and working in that capacity is not really very realistic for me anymore. I found myself wondering if I would be able to find something that brought me that much meaning. Not too long after, I ran into a great friend who just went to Kenya to build schools for children there. We talked for hours about his and my experiences, and our passions for this kind of work. As a result, he introduced me to an amazing woman with a similar story to me. She started the charity he went to Kenya with, and as a result of our conversation, she asked me to be on the board of her charity. Wow. Just a few days before, I found myself wondering how I could use my skills and knowledge to contribute to something as meaningful as getting people to sponsor children. I hadn't even prayed to find a new outlet. Heavenly Father knew me better than I knew myself, and like usual, he gave me a distinct kick-in-the-pants message- don't waste time wondering what will happen. Trust that he will give me opportunities, and he will. He has definitely never let me down, and I know he never will. He has set me on this path, and he expects me to follow it.
It's a little bit scary for me to realize that my life has a distinct purpose. I know that I am meant to accomplish big things. I have the potential to make a difference in the world. The phrase is cliché, but it's true. I don't know what those things are, but I'm starting to get an idea. And I'm excited to see how the rest of my story unfolds.
