I just realized today that It's been forever since i updated this thing. I don't know what kept me from blogging. Probably the fact that I have been in a slump and I've been waiting to get out of it so I can write about something positive rather than being disappointed because I've been getting 1's and 2's and a few 0's lately. I haven't gotten above 10 in a week for 3 weeks in a row now, and I'm seriously starting to doubt myself. But my biggest problem is that I'm obsessing over work. It's all I think about and it's all I talk about. I can't focus on other things and last night I had nightmares about trying to sign people up.
I know what I'm doing wrong. I'm thinking about it WAY too much and putting so much pressure on myself, that I'm forgetting to realize that in reality, this job is a numbers game. It's the luck of the draw- talk to 12 people and the odds are that you will sign at least one of them up. However, that one person is still a gift. And I can't take the credit- somehow, they were guided to walk where I am stationed. Somehow, I am guided to approach them and say something that makes them realize that they have the potential to create a ripple effect that will change many lives, including their own. Somehow, I get to put children in school every day, and that is a huge blessing in my life. There are a million people who aren't going to do it, because I realize that it's not for everyone. If everyone sponsored kids, the world would be a better place. Poverty would be almost nonexistent. But for individual children every day, I get to make poverty nonexistent with the help of like-minded people who take advantage of the fact that I am a checkpoint in their day, sent to remind them that they CAN do amazing things. They just have to believe.
Yesterday and today I stayed after work because I was on zero, but I resigned myself to getting Zeroes and ended up with 1 both days. I'm wondering what changed? How did I act differently? Why did that make a difference, and why couldn't I make the same thing happen earlier in the day?
I've come to this conclusion. I need to start the day with no expectations. I need to talk to people for the sake of talking to people. I need to be less rational and more silly. I need to be less persistent, and more conscious of time. I need to recognize that none of these people have to stop to talk to me, but they did, So I need to give them a reason to continue. I need to be myself and not let people affect my mood and my ability to work. I need to start my day off right and seek guidance from up above. I need to keep myself from thinking about work when I'm not there. I need to follow my own advice and step up and become a leader.
Tomorrow, I'm going to love everyone. Tomorrow I'm going to have an amazing day. Tomorrow, I'm going to give some children a chance to live their lives without fear. Tomorrow I'm going to follow Gandhi's advice and be the change that I wish to see in the world.
